Wiping off that single salty drop from my cheek I looked at the endless blue that spread upon my head. In seconds I realize that its too far and may be an illusion. So I dropped my head again to finish the last paragraph from the chapter. Hilarious it is, how a book can be written so well that when you read it you enter in its world. Feel the wounds of the character, in fact in some cases you imagine yourself as the main character.
I fear of finding myself in these stories. I fear that what if I find an incidence, a situation which just fits me and ends in different way than mine. The fear is not alone that fills me. Its along with the secret happiness that somewhere in this world someone feels the same, undergoes the same.
However I thought this book would be different, which I can read without anticipating myself into it. "MANAN" - The story about a guy who suffers through puberty dilemmas and as the book says how "The world around him refuses to understand the magnitude of the moment." Bleh.. God its about a boy..how I can relate myself to it !! phew!!
But after reading few pages the feminist inside me said..this book is so idiotic. Exaggerating so much what a guy goes through. Its so one sided. Girls are so ignored. But just then I gave an explanation to my other side that..dudette!!! Its about a boy "manan". So I went on. Few sections totally take me and made me wonder poor guy and that poor strand of hair on his balls, which if given a chance will find a way out of his underpants and pants. I so felt pity for his voice which sounded like a girl. Man.. you and your troubled childhood.
But..But..But..the discussion of today is not about manan. But its about those lines which I found on page 61 of this tiny one. They were..
The thought of making them like others. Taking about festivals, constipation and problem with plumbing its better to be at a distance, "Like a parallel line."
And it hit the spot. I felt the pang. It reinforced my idea of "Unfulfilled love is the most romantic love." I was speechless. And when I cannot say anything I sob.
Have I again encountered myself? Am I again standing with a unanswered question?
The question of - What should be chosen between a normal relationship and an unfulfilled romantic fling that keeps you wanting whole of your life?
A normal relationship that demands sacrifice, responsibilities, blame, mental torture, taken for granted attitude and probably less or no sex. Or one in which the allure of the non achievable sustains. As it gets older it gets tastier like wine and not spoiled like broth. After years and years also you feel heart thumping when you that photo of your together. When you meet them accidentally. You lust for the greener grass on the other side. The idea itself of that person sitting in your close proximity rushes all your liquids downstairs. How romantic and uncontrollable urge you face when you so want to hug that person and you just can't.
I will never find this ans, or may be I don't want the answer. I fear. I fear what if answer is something different from what I thought. I will prefer bliss of ignorance.
I know many of you will disagree with me..that "getting settled" philosophy. But its not a debate. Its the way someone want to be treated. If you can treat your half with same respect and love that you felt for them on the first day of your meeting, on the day you proposed them, on the day you married them or on the day when you first time lied naked with them, you surely can live together. Not ending like parallel lines.
But if not... I guess their is no harm in staying unsatiated.
